Myself
hi!I"m Zhao Ziwen. I was a happy boy.BecauseI had a happy family.but,I"m very very sad now.Why?Because my dad isn"t health. he drinks alcohol every day.he is angry every day.My mom is sad,too.So I grow up can"t drink alcohol,I can"t! I"m only 13 old,but I"m clever.I have a noble dream! I want go America!I want to go to havord!I"m confident!HaHa! My birthday is in July. I love building blocks.My favorite food is hamburger! I want have a look the world.The very very large world!
修改后：
Hi! I"m Zhao Ziwen. My birthday is in July. I love building blocks. My favorite food is hamburgers!
I was a happy boy because I had a happy family. But I"m very very sad now.Why?Because my dad isn"t healthy. He drinks alcohol every day. He is angry every day.My mom is sad,too. I won"t drink alcohol when I grow up. I won"t!
I"m only 13 years old, but I"m clever. I have a noble dream! I want to go to America!I want to go to Harvard! I"m confident! HaHa!
I want have a look the world. The very very large world!
修改教师 ：Andy老师
六年级：赵子文